Monday, July 6, 2009

mondays

I hate Mondays. I always have and I think I always will. There's just something awful about them....

Well, it has been quite some time since I've last blogged mainly because our computer is caput but hopefully we will get it back soon. Thanks Ron for helping us out!!!

Jeremy asked me the other day when I planned on blogging again and I'll tell you what I told him.... I feel as though I relive the same day over and over again. Day after day. Week after week. Who wants to read about my life that is currently on a hamster wheel?? Even when I change the scenery or do something different, I still feel the same.

We have a wreath on our front door that is made of white feathers with a big pink bow on the bottom. I have put my hand up so many times as I've gone in the house thinking "I should take this down now" but I just cannot do it. It's like saying "I'm over her and ready to move on" if I take it down. And I'm not over her. I'm not ready to move on and I'm not sure that you ever fully recover. Our library table is covered with cards and her momentos that I just need to have out right now. It's like she's in the house with us when I see those little baby things. I just want her to be with us so badly that I feel physically sick some days. God has comforted me so much but it's impossible to not suffer for the loss of something so precious.

We are going on a family vacation in a few weeks and I'm very excited about spending time with my peeps. Jeremy has even been to the tanning bed a few times in order to "knock off the white." Looking forward to sun, sand and surf for a whole week!!! The last time I was at the beach was about 2 weeks before Elizabeth was born and I remember being scared that she wasn't moving very much that week. I stayed up all night one night waiting for her to move. I think she was lulled to sleep by the ocean every day, all day. :) Sweet baby girl.

This past Tuesday I headed to Hartselle to visit my dad's family for a few days. The McGee clan always have room for me and just include me in their activities. We went swimming and shopping and had trouble finding a decent lunch one day (long story). Aunt Carol gave me a beautiful brush and comb set before I left on Thursday. She had bought it before we found out about Elizabeth's condition and she thought she would just hold on to it until we had another baby but decided that it was meant to be Elizabeth's. Our girl had so much hair that she needed a couple of brush and comb sets!! Of course, the best part about visiting Aunt Carol and Uncle Donald is eating Uncle Donald's okra. Aunt Carol is a great cook and she knows that I LOVE okra!!! Thanks for sharing it with me! I love you all!!

Well, I need to get some things done today but just wanted to check in with my blogger friends. Thank you for continuing to follow our journey. We love you.
Johnna